Letter For My Future Self

What advice would you give to your future self?


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A young woman looks at her reflection in the mirror with sadness. Body Dysmorphic Disorder concept. Vector illustration

Martha Calderon, Writer

Dear Future Self,

Disappointment. Since we were little, disappointment has been one of our biggest fears. I really don’t remember the moment when we started to have the fear of disappointing others and not meeting the expectations they have for us.

Many times, the things I do are not really done for my pleasure. I only do it in order to satisfy certain people, and if I’m lucky, I also get to feel a certain feeling of peace with a bit of relief, knowing that I fulfilled that expectation they had for me.

At the end of the day, I go to bed thinking that I am a certain way just because people claimed that I am like that. If they say I’m an intelligent girl then I guess I’m an intelligent girl. However, who can really assure me that I am intelligent? Many times I get carried away by the labels that others put on me, and I make myself believe that they are all true. I guess that happens since I still don’t know myself at all. Or maybe, because throughout my life, I have always been surrounded by people who have tried to shape me according to their pleasure.

I have always thought that one of the purposes of life is to know oneself: discover the things that please us, those that irritate us, and those that inspire us. And it may sound a bit absurd, but it is quite difficult to know yourself. There will be no day where you will be able to affirm that you know yourself perfectly, since day by day you discover and learn new things about yourself. You lose dreams that once meant the world to you. But you also gain new dreams, that for a minute, they will be the light of your tunnel.

There is freedom in letting go. Among the things we discover about ourselves, there are the things that you realize you are capable of and you are not capable of. And like every human being, no one is perfect. We all have our imperfections and we proudly have to accept them. It’s okay to want to make changes in yourself knowing that they could have a positive impact on your life and lead you to improve yourself. And that’s what life is all about-to experiment with the world and with yourself. But never ever try to change the way you are or try to pretend to be someone you are just so you can fit in. Remember the times you came to lose yourself just for wanting to fit in a place, a place where deep inside you knew you didn’t belong. Also remember how difficult it was to find yourself again and get out of that hole in which you found yourself. Obstacles will obviously continue to present themselves in your life, but use your past experiences as a guide so you don’t fall back into the same situations.

“Quality over Quantity” – That’s a well-known phrase, but just recently  I began to make sense of it. Many times people think that the more you have, the better you will do. However, what good will a thousand books do you if you can’t read? 

Always try to get the best of anything. And we do not necessarily have to be referring to objects. It also applies to people. Surround yourself and let people who will leave a good mark on you enter your life.  Let them teach you their perspective on life from their own angle. And above all, make sure they give you peace and happiness. Because chaos and disorder can be found on any corner. The root of suffering is attachment. 

Enjoy the trip and each phase you go through because you get only one life. Just because you feel like the world is falling doesn’t mean the world is literally falling. And if people don’t like the person you currently are, then walk them out of your life. At the end of the day, you only have yourself, and your happiness is what counts the most. So be it.

Love, Me